If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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