We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
