I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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