i think i have herpe
just one?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
