this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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