he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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