He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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