why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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