roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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