if you like me you must not know who I am
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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