I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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