You made me cry and you don't even care
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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