i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
