yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
