yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
