I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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