P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
