I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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