forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
