Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
True strength comes from lack of pants
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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