yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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