Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Non-Jews are for practice
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
