once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
