Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Shame - the story of my life.
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