Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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