thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
