census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
