remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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