so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
