He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
