Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
