mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
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