drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
