so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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