i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
