He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
