we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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