Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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