How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The Olympian is in my bed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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