that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
