you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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