What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
