Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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