mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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