plz talk dirty to me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
