he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
