Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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