She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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