I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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