I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
