can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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