Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
