and you said cock pushups were impossible
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize