I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
