no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
