Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
