Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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