She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
