I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
