Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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