Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
