smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
