a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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