yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
